Marriages- arranged and accepted

Many in India still rely on their parents’ wisdom, foresight and connections to find the right person for them. Arranged marriages have been part of the Indian culture for centuries.

Many marriages are, still to this day, arranged within the religion and preferably in the same community. Traditionally, either the boy’s parents or the girl’s parents initiate the proposal.

Not individuals but families are scrutinized before two people tie the sacred knot. It has been said that not two people but two families’ get married to each other. In some cases it is the union of two villages. That is probably the reason why parents play such a big role in finding a partner for their children.

Although some people from western culture probably view this tradition with amusement, generation after generation, this custom has been embraced by millions of Indians living in India and abroad.

The whole procedure may be termed ‘complex’ by anybody who is alien to the concept of Indian weddings. A ‘pundit’ matches the proposed couple’s ‘kundlis’. After the ‘kundlis’ are matched, both the families come to a mutual agreement. The ‘pundit’ informs the families about the auspicious days for the wedding ceremony.In Punjabi weddings even ‘kundli match’ is not necessary.If both families agrees along with acceptance from boy and girl than all is set.

Marriage is an important social event for the family. It is considered as a perfect occasion to bring together relatives and dissolve any differences that may exist.

Youngsters in India, as we know are under heavy influences of the western culture. Now-a-days they consider the idea of arranged marriage foolish. Most teenagers will tell you that an arranged marriage is old fashioned and orthodox.

With increasing interaction between boys and girls and change in family outlook aided by information technology, the popularity of love marriages is on the rise but it does nothing to negate the importance of arranged marriages, as many still prefer to opt for it, though some as the last alternative.

The primary reason for the continuing tradition of arranged marriages is that the pattern of arranged marriage is changing. It is no longer groom seeing the bride at the wedding for the first time. There are non-formal ways of interaction between the two before they take a decision.

More importantly, the final decision is left to the youngsters in most cases. The role of parents has reduced to only looking for a mate and family that they consider suitable for their children. Unlike the old days when children would blindly married their parents’ choice.

I would say it’s all about being prepared to share your space with someone that seems right for you. Whether you meet that special someone through your family or friends or you bang into him/her on your own, it doesn’t really matter. Because the reasons get washed away in the sand of time; what remains is the pure relation.

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Riya Chauhan

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